Best Stoner Jokes Of All Time

What’s better than smoking a joint and relaxing? Smoking a joint, relaxing and being able to laugh through the high! People under the influence of marijuana often find humor in many things that they normally wouldn’t. We want to help out! Below we have collected some of the best stoner jokes found on the internet.

#1

High School

Where are all the potheads in elementary school? There are none because they’re all in HIGH school!

#2

Peace

If the whole world smoke a joint at the same time there would be world peace for at least 2 hours. Followed by a global good shortage

#3

Trees

People say that money doesn’t grow on trees but in reality, they actually do, it’s called marijuana.

#4

Bongs

A true stoner has their bong(s) washed more often than their dishes

#5

Spliffs

What do you call a pothead with two spliffs? Double jointed.

#6

Marry Jane

For all the people who can’t marry a dude, just Marry Jane.

#7

Potatoes

If potatoes smoked weed, they would be baked potatoes

#8

Couple Talk

Girlfriend: “Hey babe, what do you think my parents will think of you?
Me: “If they don’t like the smell of weed, they won’t like the smell of me.”
Girlfriend: “Well that was straightforward.”
Me: “Sorry for my bluntness, that’s just how I roll.”

#9

Picture

Take your driver’s license picture stoned, so when you get pulled over, the cop will think you always look like that.

#10

Driver

If 2 potheads are in the back of the car, who is driving? The cop.

#11

Bank

A man walks into a bank with 30 pounds of marijuana and hands it over to the bank teller and says: “Hi, I would like to open a joint account.”

#12

Searching

We got so high last night we searched for our friend for half an hour while he helped us look

#13

Police Officer

A police officer pulls over a stoner and asks “How high are you?” the pothead responds with “No officer, it’s “Hi, How are you?”

 

#14

Overdose

Q: Did you hear about the kid that overdosed on weed?
A: Neither did I.

#15

Gas Prices

Gas prices may be high, but I am definitely higher.

#16

Mexicans

Q: What do you call a bunch of Mexican stoners?
A: Baked Beans.

#17

Muslims

I never realized so many Muslims smoked weed; I always hear about them getting stoned . . .

#18

Papers

I was about to smoke weed with a Mexican girl. But when I asked her if she had any papers, she immediately ran off!

#19

Stop Sign

What is the difference between a drunk guy and a stoner at a stop sign? The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green.

 

#20

Backyard

Q: What do you call a family that grows Marijuana in their backyard?
A: A Joint Family.

 

More Stoner Jokes?

We hope you enjoyed these stoners jokes. If you have puns you would like us to post then please feel free to send it our way!

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